Living In a Cardboard Box

Stuck up. Goody goody. Uppedy. Lame. Loser. Weird. Crazy. Old. B****... etc. These are all things that I've been called over the past few years. Want to guess why? Because I refuse to drink, smoke (anything), drink coffee, or do pills or other drugs. I also try my darnedest not to swear. My first day working at Pizza Hut (about two months ago. Before, I was a stay at home mom) I had to basically job shadow. So I would drive along with my trainer on deliveries and help with prep around the kitchen when we didn't have a delivery. Well on that first delivery of the day he asked if I smoked (he does) and I, of course, said no as he lit up. Then, while in the kitchen the topic of drinking had gotten brought up somehow and I told him I didn't drink. Then, on another delivery he stopped at Big B's for some coffee and asked if I wanted anything and I told him no thanks, I don't drink coffee. And at that point he looked at me and said "What DO you do?". I then took a second and thought about it and replied, "I live."

While reflecting on my trainers reaction to my life decisions later that night I realized something. There were a lot of times in my life that people didn't understand or even approve of those decisions. And like my trainer, a lot of them wondered what I actually did do since I didn't do those activities. Now this may sound a bit harsh, but I came to the conclusion that they must just be mentally living in a cardboard box. As if life weren't complete if I were not intoxicating my body and/or mind in some way or another. People have actually gotten mad at me over this. People would say "What? You're to good to drink with me?" or "Why can't I drink in your house?" (as if the fact that I have a baby here wasn't enough). 

Some of you out there are probably thinking "She's only saying this because she's never tried it.". Well that's were you're wrong. I have drank (5 times), smoked a cigarette, and smoked weed (once on those last two). It really wasn't worth doing at all. I was also going through a very bad depression when all that occurred. I had decided with my last drink that I would rather be myself 100% of the time than keep that lifestyle up. Besides, it was completely contradictory to my religious beliefs. Although I wasn't an active member of my church at the time, I still felt it was wrong to do. But religious beliefs aside, I had never thought that lifestyle was worth living anyway. 

Trust me. No one ever goes into anything thinking they're going to become addicted and it often takes a while for them to realize that they are when it does happen. You can have the most self control in the world, but it only takes one bad day to make drug and alcohol habits a vicious cycle. If you never pick it up once, you can't pick it up twice. There's a lot of pressure out there. There's going to be a lot of people that will judge you for choosing not to drink or smoke or do drugs. If you haven't started, stay strong and know there's at least one person out there that's very proud of you. If you have started up, just quit now before it has a chance to become an addiction. And if you are addicted there is absolutely no shame in getting help. Addictions impair our ability to make decisions and alter our will power and priorities. I've seen this movie play out a thousand times. I've seen it destroy families and drive people to do unspeakable things. There's never a happy ending. So do what you have to to change the script, because it's never too late. And for all of you people that think there's something wrong with me because I choose to be sober, or I'm a hypocrite for even saying anything at all because of my past, step out of your cardboard box and learn what living really is.